I woke up at 3am the other day and proceeded to have an epic argument with someone entirely in my head. It went on and off for at least 90 minutes as I dozed in and out of sleep. It was the worst kind of argument because it was basically just an endless stream of all the things I would say to this person and a whole bunch of me finding all the reasons why I was right. By the time I woke up I was so tired and worked up about the subject matter that I felt miserable.
Later in the day I had to laugh because seriously what a ridiculous waste of time, sleep and energy. Truthfully this was not the first time this has happened and I would hazard a strong guess that I’m not the only human who does this. As the years go by I have been able to create more awareness around it and as such it happens with far less frequently than it used to. I have also come to an understanding of what exactly this mind noise is. It’s nothing more than my ego’s attempt to find my own rightness in a situation. And as much as my ego likes being in the right, it also loves the energy it gets from endlessly trying to justify that position. If there ever was a cancer of the human mind, this is it.
For all the amazing things we do as a species we are also completely mad sometimes. Does any other animal species do this? I can’t say for certain but pretty much I would say certainly not. The arguments in our heads have no real productive purpose or end point. In fact they become counter productive to achieving a reasonable resolution to a conflict because the next time you see that person there is extra animosity towards them that has been completely fabricated by a made up argument. It is completely and utterly ridiculous. Take this malady on a collective human scale and it’s no wonder there is so much conflict between humans.
The good news is that there is a cure. The cure is awareness and presence. But it’s not a quick fix cure. It’s a cure that takes practice and persistence. The cure requires training. It takes practice to generate awareness around thoughts and mind noise and it takes practice to become present when your mind is aggressively seeking past or future or caught up in an imaginary argument. Ego’s are strong and there is no shortage of the type of energy they need to be well fed. But as soon as you become aware of these thought patterns you create space around them and are no longer consumed by them. Awareness allows presence and presence wins.
