Confidence is either deeply rooted or superficial and fragile.
Superficial confidence depends on daily external feedback for validation. The source of this external feedback can come from several different places. It can come from the false assumption that execution must be perfect. If you execute perfectly every day there is little room for any doubt to creep in. This is a weak platform for confidence because if anything goes wrong (sickness, injury, fatigue or “life”) it can insert a sliver of doubt triggering a cycle of useless mind chatter mainly around the idea of whether or not you are truly committed or just lazy. Superficial confidence can come from other individuals- friends, partners, coaches- anyone that will help validate that you are good enough. The worst kind of superficial confidence is the kind that is gained by making others feel small in order to make yourself feel big. This is also known as bullying and is a garbage way to gain confidence. The trouble with superficial confidence is that it’s not really confidence at all. Instead it is the egos’ deep insecurity that requires daily validation for survival.
Deeply rooted confidence does not require daily external feedback because it comes from a platform of internal strength and self esteem gained through effort, attitude and process. To be clear, having a great workout or nailing a time trial definitely can and should add confidence to an individual but deeply rooted confidence is not solely dependent on these outcomes. Deeply rooted confidence comes from complete trust in the process and the understanding that their is an ebb and flow to that process. Individuals with deeply rooted confidence understand that execution is not always perfect- the mistakes, mishaps, missed targets and tough days are all part of the process. They are necessary when pushing boundaries and have little if anything to do with confidence. Individuals with deeply rooted confidence rarely give a shit what other people think. And individuals with deeply rooted confidence certainly do not need to make others small in order to feel confident. In fact, deeply confident individuals will usually find ways to make others feel bigger.
